I Failed to Live the Ideal of Abiding and Formation

Abide.

It is a word we don’t use much anymore in our day and time. It is antiquated I suppose. “Wait” is the word that is probably more common or “be patient” comes to mind too. I’ve heard those before but I admit I’m not good at them. In fact, I confess I am so much more apt to be a “doer” that I have jumped the gun far too often. This is not helpful when one is a widow/widower and we tend to make poor decisions anyway.

But abide? Yeah, definitely something for me to consider more. I need time in contemplation to get I know but when I went looking for “a word” last week not only was this the one I got, it was affirmed just moments later from the other side of the world!

For me, it comes with the connotation of both “waiting” and “patience” but it also has to do with letting go of things too. It seems to me to be encouraging me to “hold back” and to watch carefully what I say or do next. And there is with an image of being in the presence of a wise mentor or better yet, to be in the presence of Jesus.

I don’t think I “abided” well yesterday in the meeting I attended. There were moments and subjects eating at me...disturbing to me...troubling my spirit, soul and sensibilities. And I confess, I don’t think I lived up much to this week’s breath prayer to speak words that reflected the heart of Jesus. But then, if (as the meme reminds us…) it is in the realm of possibilities of Jesus’ own actions to flip over tables, maybe I was right to speak?

Maybe...but I don’t think I did much “abiding” with Jesus in the moment.

Trying to get a grasp of "abide" isn't easy either.  It has an archaic meaning “to stay” or “reside” but you aren’t going to find a Greek or Hebrew term common to Scripture as much as the concept. The image of Luke Skywalker running off to Cloud City in “The Empire Strikes Back,” is what I see. Yoda and Obi Wan Kenobi implore Luke to stay...to “abide” and finish his training but he won’t listen. It is like Peter at the Transfiguration of Jesus who suggests building tents for Jesus, Elijah, and Moses because he can’t just “abide” and watch and listen.

I struggled to listen. But then, it seems to me, we in the churches of Jesus Christ are not listening to the Spirit of God in our midst. We will listen to research and experts in psychology and business models but won’t sit down and abide with Paul’s letters and his teaching and antidotes to the churches being birthed after the resurrection. We aren’t abiding with the doctors of the faith like Theresa of Avila or John of the Cross whose lessons have stood far longer and are inspired by Scripture and Spirit. The people called “Methodists” began with a heart “strangely warmed,” in John Wesley and we won’t listen to our own theological process which we clergy were taught and exhorted to do. So where are the 52 Standard Sermons and the Explanatory notes? Where do we engage Scripture, tradition, reason, and experience? And when do we all listen to the Holy Spirit, the One truly at work changing us, the counselor of truth Jesus promised?

I admit I struggled to abide and confess, my emotions got the better of me. Lord, have mercy on me a sinner. I am going back to my knees to abide and listen. I have much to learn.  No running off to Cloud City this time.