Enhancing Life: Living Life Where You Are

I keep going.  Life, as I understand it, is lived and not something we watch go by us. It makes me wonder, if there really are two types of people…

  1. Those who live.

  2. Those who watch others live.

It seems to me, it is very easy for life to get stagnate and stale.  We can point fingers at tech and the world's advancements but there have often been people through the years who have sought fit to just watch.  Let life pass by. Blame others for things not working out. Wallowing in self-pity is something I can hear.

And I know I’ve done it.

But I wasn’t built to sit still.  If you are a bit like me, there are dreams and plans you are thinking about.  For me, taking action is key. Acting on my ideas has opened up more doors than ever before, and now I can create the life that I envision for myself. Whether it's traveling, learning a new skill, or building something extraordinary - if it's worth doing, then it needs to get done by me.

As I write, I realize my words may sound a bit odd coming from a pastor of nearly 30 years, and they may sound weird coming from a Realtor as well…I mean, what is the point of this blog after all?  And that is what I think I am coming to figure out more and more as I create video content and take on the second part of life.

Through the years, I have been more transparent than maybe I have been especially since Heather died.  There were people who I looked up to who guided me and friends I could count on then.  That all changed when Heather died.  

There were no mentors for being a widower.  I was betrayed by some of my closest friends.  My chronic anxiety took over and ran my life and caused hypertension.  

I am looking with new eyes on my life.  I am examining the second half of life with a new partner in Lauren and our family has grown.  I need new rules, new boundaries, and new guides and I need to become one myself.  I need to step into it and be both learner and mentor.

This past summer, Ron Geisler helped coach me through the changes in my life and what I was facing, what our family is facing, and what many are facing.  I had to really get to the button of what made a difference.  Now I’m not saying I’ve got it down, I still am making a mess out of too much, but I’m not giving up.  What Ron helped me with is my three focuses:

  1. Stay in Love with Jesus.

  2. Be a Kick-a$$ husband (and dad)

  3. Help people enhance life and home

So, I’m thinking that this blog and my content is going to be focused on sharing and guiding about enhancing life.  And it starts here:


For the past few days, I know my anxiety has gotten the better of me. It has played havoc on my heart rate and kept my mind running too fast. I have to own that and make sure my to-do list is done.  I can’t put off the chores but I can schedule them out.  I have to be sure I am walking to get my heart stronger.  

And you: Just out of curiosity, what is your crap that you aren’t dealing with that is causing you to get screwed up and things get out of hand? Work or home doesn’t matter - you are you and no when else is you and the people in your circle have to put up with you so what have you let get out of hand?  You can live or watch others live but if your only watching then you got no one to blame but yourself.

Here are four questions to get you off of your butt and moving to enhance life:

  1. What has to get done now?

  2. What should get done this week?

  3. What could get done this week?

  4. What can wait?

Live life where you are.  You can’t get where you want to be till you know where you are now.

Start enhancing your life, your home and our world!

How to Buy Your Home: Start with Your Dream

This is the first post in a series on buying your home.  I've lived all over the US and lived in some hole in the wall apartments and quite a few houses but were they home? That is something you have to decide to do with where you live: make it home.

When buying a home, it is always a daunting challenge, whether as a first-time buyer, or not. Most people just settle for the first place that falls in their budget, even without checking for better options in a bid to skip as much of the hassle as possible. Before finalizing a purchase, there are somethings to take into consideration, here we will be providing some tips and points to consider before buying, during the buying process and as well as after moving into the new home.

Start with Your Dream

Everyone has what they look out for when they want to buy a home, generally speaking, the desire for a spacious home, with kitchen, bathtrooms, large bedrooms, basements, dining rooms, porches, entertainment spaces, garages, master suites are the most common amongst people. To many, a large property is more than an inch of the yardstick to measure success. When it comes to owning property, Americans are at the top of the list of people that chase this desire with a passion. A good property is definitely a slice of the American dream. Before buying a property, the question of, "is this a home or a house," should come to play. What is the difference?

The major difference between them is that a house is a structure, it is a building in which a person lives. And when there is nobody in it? It is still just a house; a building. A home, in my mind is so much more. Yes, it refers to a building but is more of a place that a person considers a safe place, that belongs to them. A home can be a house, but a house is not always home. A home can be a trailer or a tent or even a boat.

The house you buy must be one that you and members of your family can live comfortably in, it should be one that caters to individual needs, the features of the house depend on personal requirements, in terms of neighborhood, security, ventilation and even in cases where family members have special needs and care. Also determining long term goals are important, does home ownership fit in those plans? Narrowing these down will definitely steer you down the right path. 

Important Points to Note:

  • Before you start, put your purchasing power into consideration, what kind of home you can afford, what type of payment plan will be employed, and how much financing you can get.

  • What does the actual home buying process entail, funding, making offers, home inspections, and closing the deal.

  • Maintenance costs are also a major point to take into consideration.

  • If you are working on a tight budget, look for houses whose full potentials are yet to be utilized. Even if you can’t afford to restructure the front corridor yet, it would be worth it to live in it, when it meets other requirements, in terms of say neighborhood and location, rather than turning away because of physical irregularities

7 Rules for Surviving Change

“Change before you have to,” are words from the iconic, Jack Welch.  Are you ready for the change?

As I noted in my previous post, “Farewell,” I am going through a career shift.  After nearly 30 years of full-time ministry, I am at a place of change.  After Heather, my first wife, died, I came to understand the valley of the shadow of death…and the valley of suck that caregivers journey.  During that time, God and I had many conversations. Back then, I sensed change would come for me in this area but how? When?  

I found that out.

When I look at it I think there are two kinds of people: those who fight change and those that accept change when it comes.  I don’t think either take it lightly or easily, accepting doesn’t mean it won’t happen, its perspective.  I remember vividly when Heather’s contractions started and our rush to the hospital.  Logan, our son, was coming into the world.  Fighting against this wasn’t even in the cards.  And years later, at her bedside, none of us could stop the moment from coming when Heather would take her last breath.

So, again, I came to accept change would come again.  Not a damn thing we can do except fight it or accept it, and I tend to be the latter.  This time, I have prepared, though that doesn’t mean it was easy.  Like packing for a camping trip…it takes A LOT of work to have that fun!  Though, I can’t say this change is fun.  It is change nonetheless and how I face it, well, that I have some say about now.

I came across a list of 7 Rules of Life.  I think they are more appropriate: 7 Practices for Surviving Change.  Facing a career change like me? Family life in upheaval? Do you need to move?  Have you lost a friend? A love? Your dreams?   Life IS change so I would say either would work just fine and these seven simple rules aren’t wrong.  They may just be the guard rails you need.

Let it Go.

Never ruin a good day by thinking about a bad day.

Ignore The Haters.

Don't listen to what other people think of you. Live a life that is empowering to you.

Give it Time.

Give it some time, time heals, but scars do stay.

Don’t Compare.

Don't compare yourself; the only person you should try to beat is the person you were yesterday.

Stay Calm.

Stay calm and know that its okay to not have everything figured out.

It’s on You.

You are in charge of your happiness and how your life turns out.

 Smile, or don’t.

Life is short. Enjoy it while you have it.

You can fight it but change will run you down like a semi-truck.  You can’t win that fight but I have come to learn, though life sucks, you can go after the good and seek after God, and you’ll find that when the hard ground of our souls is broken up, it makes good soil for things to grow; for change to flower and give fruit.

Go on now. Enhance life. Enhance home. Enhance our world with the changed you!


 There is what we plan for.  There is what we dream of.  Then there is life as it works its way out through the twists and turns.  I have served in full-time ministry for nearly 30 years now and rarely, have things all gone as planned.  As I shared on the first Sunday of the new sermon series, “The God Story,” we are part of a story not a formula.

This has become the case for me now. I am writing this to share that I will be leaving the appointment of Anchor Park UMC at the beginning of June 2023.  After prayerful consideration and much conversation our lives have made a turn that allows my wife and me to continue to call Alaska home but that means, I will set aside my stole, full-time, as a pastor.

Together, as pastor and church; we navigated a pandemic and the process of reimagining and reopening our church to ministry.  I like to think my gifts were used, like Esther, “For such a time as this.”  Now, by stepping aside, it will allow a new clergy and church, to cast a vision for the future and ministry to the Airport Heights/Anchorage Community.

Our new home will be a cabin in the Alaska wilderness.  I will be on call as pulpit supply as needed for Jesus’ church but will be fulfilling my calling full-time to help people enhance life and enhance home as a Realtor with Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate Dream Makers in Wasilla.  You’ll see some changes regarding content but I will continue to encourage and enhance life and soul, even as I help enhance homes and home life.  


Do no harm.

Do good.

Stay in love with God.

Jedi Pastor Ken

Be Part of Life's Story and Stupid Simple Spirituality

 “We experience life as a story; not a formula,”

-Jacob Armstrong

Hallmark holiday movies…mark another year that I survived them.  I am really impressed with the actors and how they work the roles, but we all know there is a formula.  Our superhero movies have a formula.  Our news articles have a formula.

A good friend reminisced about the 80s recently. This got me thinking…so much of those movies had a formula.  Teenagers, with no jobs but seemingly endless resources (parents/guardians) took on their “world” of high school - fighting the adults/the “man” or bullies - and in the end, they emerge at 18 with a happy-ever-after story.  

Only, that is a formula - and it only gets you to graduation…if you are lucky.  But what about the next 70 years after that?  Hmmmmm…

I’ll be the first to say that while not always easy, I felt the “formula” was fine until I got diagnosed with cancer, then natural disaster, mental illness diagnoses in my family, then would come vision loss, then cancer and death of my wife and the struggles of being an only parent and trying to piece it all back together.  

This has been my story.  No Hollywood screen writer could write this.  There was no formula. It was the premise of my first book: “Life Sucks Seek God.”  It didn’t have a formula.  I just wrote my story - my journey - my faith.  I was SOLD that there was a formula to faith.

It is a lie.  There is no formula to our faith. 

You can go back 2000 years to the story of the early church and Paul’s writings to the Corinthians (2 Cor 11:1-4) where he writes how false teachers had taught the people a false faith about Jesus - a different Jesus entirely.  A formula should have prevented this - but there isn’t a formula.  There is life.  There is faith.  We live it out or we don’t and there is no promise that living by faith sets your path in a formula of happy ever-after, rainbows and unicorn sparkle path.  

What faith does do is give purpose to the story.  It helped me understand that I was, and am, in a story I didn’t know existed at my birth: The God Story.  And God is part of this story, not out of it - this is what Advent reminds us: This God is Immanuel = God with us.

I don’t know how your story will end.  I don’t know how mine will end.  In a moment, this blog will end.  It has followed a formula to this point but typically, there would some great call to action, some formula of guidance to follow…but screw that…

What are you going to do with your story? I don’t buy the idea of some Christians that your whole life is mapped out and you have no choices.  I don’t think many of the Bible folks would agree with that either.  They made a mess of things.  And the early disciples mostly died as martyrs…are any of us following that formua?  We think we are being “persecuted” when people don’t want prayers at football games.  That isn’t persecution - that is opinion.

Love your enemy.  That is the hard stuff.  Do to other people what you want them to do to you.  Give away your stuff and don’t be a hoarder of things. 

God didn’t give us a formula, God dropped us into the story of God.  Start living like it - you are writing your part and be part of the good.  Jesus said it simply: Love God and Love your neighbor. 

Damn.  That is just stupid simple spirituality right there. Go and do likewise.

Photo by picjumbo.com & RODNAE Productions: https://www.pexels.com

Five Questions to Guide Your Dreaming to Reality in the New Year

 At the opening of the movie Pretty Woman, there comes a simply and endearing set of lines that also will bring the movie to a close, “What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'.”

I was an assistant manager of the Buccanneer Movie Theater in Greenville, NC when this sleeper, sensation of a movie came out.  I heard the lines for weeks on end and I never got tired of hearing it.  “What’s your dream?”  Hollywood has lost much of its magic but the question still is there - WHAT IS YOUR DREAM???

As a pastor for nearly 30 years, this idea rarely comes up in sermon preparation yet, dreams are a major part of the Biblical story.  Jacob’s famous ladder.  King Nebuchadnezzar, and of course, the dream of Joseph to flee to Egypt with Mary and the Christ child are just a few.  

But what of our dreams?  Where do they fit?  With the New Year, I think you and I should be asking that question.  I did last year and it began to reform how I looked at life and what direction my life would take.  When I wrote “Life Sucks Seek God,” after my first wife, Heather’s death, I didn’t know what the future would hold.  I didn’t have a dream any more.  Cancer and her death had “sucked” the dreams away.  

Now, thanks to Rebound Coaching and Ron Geisler’s guidance, I am looking at 2023, not with merely new resolutions but new dreams - new goals - a new vision.  What came out of our weeks of reading, reflection and coaching was three things.

  1. I want to be a kick-a$$ husband (and dad).  I have work to do.  I am a husband again, and along with my two kids, I have two new kids (and have “adopted” a few too). Yes, they are adults but they need to see how I live and love and care for Lauren.  

  2. Stay in love with Jesus.  This is the foundation of everything.  This matters so much more than anything else and for me to be the best at anything, I have to keep following Jesus at the front and center.  This hasn’t been easy so getting this right is key to all dreams.

  3. Helping people enhance life and enhance home.  This is getting back to the “brass tacks” of the matter - what can offer.  I can’t be all things to all people like Paul but I can offer a lot more with my own take on things. The Way for me is going to fit for some and not others.  I am ok with that.

This ain’t Hollywood, this is real life and everybody has a dream but that dream is something you have to do more than just WISH for, you have to WORK for it!  Every dream God gave, fit the person God gave it too.  God has given you gifts to go with the dream. 

Here are five questions to guide you this week ahead of New Year’s, take some time with them and answer them for yourself:

Who do you want to become?  

What do you need to do - change - learn to get there?

When will you start and when will you know you get there?

Where will you be when you get there - success will look like _________?

How will you achieve what you want?

It is true: “Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'.”  But this ain’t Hollywood.  Make the dream happen.

Enhancing Life. Enhancing Home.

Five Important Life Lesson My Puppy Is Teaching Me

Pets are awesome but the process of training them to be awesome, well, that can be a challenge. It doesn't happen overnight. We recently rescued an amazing pup to add to our zoo of one bird, one dog and two cats.  Suddenly, we are looking through the world of this 2-3 month old AND teaching her to view the world through our eyes!  So much to see and smell and learn!

Of course we’ve had the potty accidents but she has come along quickly.  Leaning a schedule and to obey commands and get along, well that is a process.  Learning what bed time is reminds me of the days when my kids were babies…and that got me thinking, with all the lessons I am teaching…what am I learning?

  1. Be Patient with Change

It takes 30 days to form a new habit, right?  It takes time for a plant to grow, right?  Babies don’t walk overnight and puppies and kittens don’t open there eyes right away.  Change takes time.  If it takes time for a puppy, how much more for a person?  Having been in ministry for nearly 30 years, I have watched people change.  Being with folks in AA and NA, there are times we stumble and fall, but be patient.  People need time to get back up and change.

  1. Pay Attention to the One in Front of me.

I can’t walk away from this little one or jump over to work, or even a quick post to Instagram. If puppy is out and about, she has to have my attention or she is going to get in trouble.  But did I really need puppy to remind me that people are the same way?   If I am in a conversation with someone, I need to be all there.  If it is my wife, my kid, a church member, a friend, a stranger, a client - pay attention to the one in front of me.

  1. Everything can be fun, but doesn’t mean its ok

Wow! Who knew all the ways an animal come up with to have fun?!?! I have a “dead” Ewok and now I have to protect the carpet! Who knew digging and chewing carpet could provide entertainment?! That doesn’t mean it is ok.  Binge watching Netflix can be fun (or a Star Wars marathon) but that doesn’t mean it is the best or even good for us.  There are many vices or sins that maybe fun, but lets not kid ourselves that they are ok.

  1. Food is ok but don’t eat it all.

Ok, so yeah, gluttony is one of the sevent deadly sins too and I am pulling it from the previous point. But treats and rewards are important!  But lets keep them in moderation!  When we first brought puppy home, it was easy to see she had learn to fight and  struggle for every bite.  We had to moderate her eating.  Food is great but don’t have  eyes bigger than your stomach!

  1. Being still and chill is good.

Like a 2 year old fighting bedtime, our puppy fights naps too!  I forgot they’ll do this.  They just swear they are missing out.  But thankfully, she has an older brother to watch who relaxes, lays down and chills our a lot.  She is learning to do the same.  And we need to do it too.  In my free ebook, 5 Benefits of a Morning Ritual, I touch on this subject a little.  Be still and chill.

I have no doubt there will be more lessons to come.  There is so much life has to teach us.  Every pet we own is unique and if that is so, how much more unique are each and every one of US!? We have no idea what someone is going through. We don’t know their mental and emotinal personalities.  We can’t possibly know all the potential they have either.  So it seems that we ought to be giving a lot more: “YES!”  “WAY TO GO!” “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” to folks when we catch them doing what is right.  I’m not sure head rubs and chin scratches are in order but a hug and high-five could do wonders!

Take the lessons and go enhance your life, your home, and the world!

  © Blogger template Webnolia by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP